Its funny how my concept of time has changed since I had a child.
Time moves slower
…when I am around my daughter. When she is awake and aware, she grabs all of my attention. I do not need to try to be “in the moment” because there is not other place to be. The four weeks that she has been alive is full of moments that I vividly remember. Like last Thursday when I sat on our couch, feeding her at 5am, as the sun rose in NYC.
Time also moves faster
I cannot believe that it has already been four weeks since she was born. I almost cannot differentiate between last night, when I slept in my own bed, and when I was sleeping on the chair the four nights we were in the hospital. It is a little bit scary how fast time seems to be moving.
I am more aware of my own time
I want to be around my daughter as much as I can, so I feel more accountable than ever to spend my time wisely. Mainly that applies to work, where I am pushing myself to accomplish the most important tasks in a reasonable amount of time. Whereas before I did not feel anxious when I worked all day, I now feel the need to leave the office. I understand that my presence is what is essential for my daughter, and I am making better use of my time so that I can be around more.
Other people go back in time
New babies seem to enchant everyone around. Every day when I get back home from work, Lorraine and I take our daughter for a walk. People regularly stop us and tell us…about themselves. Usually they are reminiscing about their children and how great it was to raise them. The phrase “special time” is used regularly.
Ultimately, it became clearer to me that time is the most valuable resource that I have in my life. And it is the only thing that my daughter needs from me right now. If I want to be a good father, then I need to spend time with my daughter. My life demands that I give more respect to time now, and I have found it to have a positive impact. As I am more thoughtful of how I spend my time, I am also more fulfilled by how that time is spent. And much of that time is now spent feeding, changing, and soothing a 4 week old girl.